Is it just me who feels awkward when their friends talk about their sexual conquests?
Like how do you approach the fact that you’re in your mid twenties and still a virgin?
Is it a big deal?
I don’t feel like it is. Of course, I find it really awkward when people are talking about the ‘amazing’ sex they’ve had…. the size of genitalia – it feels wrong.
But on the flip side I suppose I do feel that I’m missing out. But can you really miss something you’ve never had?
I’m far from a prude but I guess It’s just really uncomfortable, like how do you take part in a conversation about something you’ve never experienced before? Am I supposed to just pretend and go along with it?
It’s a scary and almost isolating thing when you’re surrounded by people who can all relate to the conversation and you’re just sat there feeling invisible.
There’s only so many times you can sit in your bedroom masturbating before you get bored and tired of doing it yourself.
But Does sex really measure up? Is it all it cracked up to be? I guess my view of sex is slightly warped considering the closest I’ve ever gotten to it is the porn on my computer screen.
I’ve never been confident in myself, the way I look or who I am.
There are so many reasons that I’ve put off developing a sexual relationship with someone.
I worry that I’ll never develop a bond with someone after having sex with them. But then I worry what a bond with someone would do to me. Whether I’d get hurt. Whether my first time would also be my first heartbreak.
It’s the culture of being young in today’s society that makes you feel that pressure, it almost makes you feel like you don’t fit in or don’t belong.
Or that if you do fit… how long you will fit for before someone gets bored and finds a better one.
I’m definitely not a guy who’s ready to go out into the world and let loose. I know that I find it to be a private thing, something that should be kept as a connection between just two people.
But I fear I’ll never have the courage to go out and find that other person.
And I know that, because of this, I’ll forever be wondering: Is sex really as good as it’s made out to be?
As told to thedisclosed.com