Domestic abuse happens everywhere.
It is mainly known for it’s physical abuse and the incidents that occur because of it being in the media.
Abuse is not always as obvious as being hit or pushed. There is also emotional abuse where you’re being torn apart emotionally by your partner. At first you really don’t realise that you are going through any form of abuse because it isn’t physical.
Here are 12 warning signs that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship..
1. They use your insecurities against you
You might be a bit concerned that you’ve put a bit of weight on, so you ask your partner for advice. But rather than tell you you’re fine the way you are they will use this little insecurity against you in most arguments just to bring you down constantly about yourself.
2. They can’t take the blame
They make everything your fault and can’t accept when they’re in the wrong.
3. They isolate you
They refuse to let you see your friends and family. They want you to themselves and they don’t want you having any fun without them by your side, so they keep you away from the people you’re closest to. This makes it easier for them to have control of you.
4. They manipulate you
Using things like “if you don’t___I will___”. They use this as a way of manipulating you.
5. They try to control you
They start telling you what you can and can’t wear. It starts off with the criticism about your appearance or something you are wearing, but you then start to question yourself. Certain items of clothing you now won’t wear just to avoid the “you can’t wear that” conversation.
6. They make you feel alone
They ignore and exclude you from things, leaving you at home while they go out, but letting you out to enjoy yourself.
7. They’ll use money to make you feel weak
They use money as a form of control. Your partner might have a better income than you and you some what rely on them for financial security. If so, they will use this against you in most arguments.
8. They get jealous about everything
They have an unreasonable amount of jealousy. They get jealous over absolutely everything! Which in result makes you lose friends due to your partners jealous nature, I mean not talking to these friends is a lot easier than the back lash of your partners jealousy… right?
9. They suffocate you
They invade your personal space by checking your phone, whether that’s your texts or social media. They do this because they are so paranoid you having your phone means they are not in control of it – so them checking on it is another form of control that they need.
10. They don’t show you any affection
Your relationship at first is wonderful, everything is going great, but then months or years down the line the affection is gone. There’s nothing there; they hardly show you any affection yet get jealous over another person even talking to you? What’s the deal with that?
11. They threaten you
For example, threatening to commit suicide if you leave them! They know that you love them and them dying would be the most horrific thing for you especially if it’s “your fault” again it’s a form of control.
12. They make you feel like they’re the best you’re going to get
They make you feel like no one else will want you if you leave them that they’re the best you’ve ever had and will ever get.
It’s hard to see when you’re in a relationship that you are being controlled or emotionally abused but please look at the warning signs of your relationships.
A lot of people believe that they are treated this way because it’s their fault – but it’s not. They’ve just been made to feel that way.
In time you will get over this person if you end it. No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship.
Words by Danielle McCormack.