I’m 25 and I’ve never had sex.
I’m not even ashamed. I’ve never got close to it even happening so I wouldn’t know any different.
I’ve never really had ‘the chat’ or participated in any sort of conversation surrounding ‘sex’ and the ins and outs. It makes me feel slightly uncomfortable as I don’t want to pretend I’ve done something I haven’t just to fit in.
Like many who have never experienced sexual intercourse before, I have a lot of questions.
Here are 11 things people who have never had sex want to know.
1.Is it really worth it?
I guess that my only experience of ‘sex’ happening is either pornography or the dramatisation of sex on a TV show or in a movie.
It’s made to look fantastic, like the characters are having the best time ever. I guess my notion of sex is slightly warped due to never having sex. I like the idea of it, but would I enjoy it?
2. Does it hurt?
Seriously I’ve always thought about this. Surely it hurts the first time for both parties? Pornography makes it look easy, but is it?
I personally don’t enjoy pain so this puts me off slightly. If it’s painful, why carry on?
3. Is there preparation involved?
What is foreplay? Is it someone teasing you like you’d tease a dog with a bone? How do you prepare yourself?
A shave of the necessary areas, a decent shower? There’s so many questions!
4. Is there such a thing as no strings?
You always hear people say ‘It’s just sex’ – but what exactly is ‘just sex’?
There is always an obvious attraction to someone if you want to ‘do the deed with them’.
So can sex ever be no strings? Will someone get hurt?
5.How do you know if someone is really having an orgasm?
How can you tell? What’s different about someone faking one? Can you tell if someone is faking an orgasm?
6. What is squirting?
This is a genuine question. I’ve heard the phrase ‘I made her squirt’ once or twice in my life time, and it just sounds really unsavoury.
7. Does penis size really matter/can you break your penis?
Well does it? Can a penis be too big? Will it hurt? In extreme cases, can your penis ‘snap’?
8. Sex toys… do they really spice it up?
I have never owned a sex toy but see people talk about them frequently. Does using a sex toy really spice things up? What makes it so different?
9. Is sex really better without protection?
Sexual health is so important, so why do many advocate sex without a condom? I’ve heard lots of people say ‘it feels better without a condom’ or ‘he doesn’t like wearing one’.
10. Can sex cause damage if practiced incorrectly?
I’m serious, for both males and females can this cause long term damage? How do you move on from that? The fear of this makes me never want to have sex.
If something goes wrong and the worst happens, will it scar you for life?
11. STD/I’s: Should I be worried?
Chlamydia, gonorrhoea, genital warts, genital herpes – the list goes on.
How do you know when you have contracted a sexually transmitted infection? Do you even know?
What does this mean for long term sexual relationships? Does this affect your confidence?
Words by James Conlon